It began before last week but had yet to get interesting until then. You see last week I took the week off of work for no particular reason than to take a break from it all… And yesterday I re-entered the doors which I had not darkened for over a week. And ever since then I’ve been attempting to understand my feelings in regards to it all.

I realized I lacked motivation throughout the day, whether or not this was directly caused by my vacation and the coming back thereof I am not sure. I feel as though I’m pushing from the back of my mind forward to get myself to accomplish tasks. It seems that I can get myself to be really excited about any number of things from new technologies and other peoples new business ventures. But when it comes to the job that puts food on my table I am just not with it. I ponder whether or not this is how work will always be? Whether or not I’ll be a coder for some application that seems to have no other purpose but to screw people over… That may be an exaggeration of the actuality but it remains nonetheless how I feel. I’ve begun the job hunt, after a year of working for a company like ACS I’m just not sure that its where I am supposed to be. Is it a smaller company I should endear towards next? Or one that is similar yet different in certain ways? I’m not sure but I do know this, I’m not learning much there and I feel like I’m suffocating from lack of creativity.

Of course I could be wrong about all of this, or I could be playing the role of the spoiled brat always desiring more out of life. That was quite a depressing post. I’ll endeavor to be more cheerful henceforth. Its just something I needed to get out.