As of late I happened upon a possible job opportunity, and I say happened upon because I received a call from a recruiter and although I had been looking it was the first step I’d taken in the direction of finding a new job. Said recruiter presented me with a nice enough looking job which was and I quote “A ground floor opportunity”. Looked into the company, and it has everything I’m looking for in a company; its small, its young, and they’d be looking for me to help architect a new solution. The problem is I’m not passionate about their product and what they are doing.

Let me hash that out a bit before I go on. Over the past year at my current company I’ve encountered time and again situations where all I see is stodgy corporate types that like the line of business the way it is and don’t see it changing. The company I am with has been around for some time and all of their tools are “ready to go” out of the box and there really isn’t anything new to do. Its all been done. Not too mention I’m not passionate about what they do, I never interact with people that have feelings in regards to what we do. It feels cold. It feels mechanical. Which is the way its supposed to be for them and thats great but its not me. Thus I determined that my next job is one that I have to be passionate about to which I ask “How am I going to find a job that I am passionate about when the majority of my passion is in quitting my current job”. I’m being difficult, this I know.

So I proceed with this job possibility all the while not certain if it’d be something I’d be interested in and I’m in complete turmoil of whether or not to accept or deny the offer if it ever came. When I realize that its all pointless if I’m not passionate. Its all worthless if I can’t gather meaning from it all. Why can’t I be mechanical, why can’t I accept the way things are and get paid like everyone else and have that be enough? Because I can’t. Because I want to push the boundaries and I want to be involved and I want to identify with the users. I can’t just be a faceless programmer sitting at a desk. I have goals and aspirations that take me far beyond my time at a desk. I can’t waste time any longer on things that I am not passionate about. It robs not only myself and those around me but also my employer, who should be on the top of my list to please.

My mantra to live by for the year is turning out to be “Seeing the world not as it is, but as it should be.”